


Time Travel is Useful

by TGP



Series: Happy Endings [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: 1900s sucked, Alternate Alpha Timeline, Boston, Gen, Joe is one manly motherfucker, New York City, Time Shenanigans, Time Travel, parental neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGP/pseuds/TGP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Joe ever needed was his buddy Jade and occasionally the weird blond guy who kept showing up.</p><p>Companion piece to Advance Guard</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Travel is Useful

Joe, who has never gone by John, even when he was a baby, came into the world through shenanigans. The rest of his life is only a little calmer, but what can you expect when you grow up in the Lower East Side? Joe’s mother is an immigrant from the Caribbean and speaks melodically in his ear. He mimics her from birth and follows the patterns of the songs she sings. He never finds out what most of them mean because the songs are in languages he’s never heard before and he’s too busy enjoying her to ask. He thinks they’ll sing forever, just he and she.

 

And then she’s gone and he’s lost the chance to ever know what her songs were about. Later on, he’s glad his father never told him what exactly happened. He’s pretty sure it was an accident. He remembers the morning she died and the way she smiled before she left for the factory. He’s glad he never had the chance to remember anything else.

 

After that, his father is... different. He spends most of his time at the shop, spinning sugar and giving smiles to children that are not Joe because Joe can smile on his own. Sometimes Joe sits behind the register to take money and watches the way the other kids’ eyes sparkle as they let the delicate candies melt on their tongues. He likes these moments but sometimes he doesn’t want to watch and instead spends the afternoon playing with Jade in their apartment while old man English watches over them.

 

Jade and her grandpa came to live with them just before Joe’s mother died. She’d been quiet then, Jade, but it had only been a few days before she was as lively as Joe. She never talks about the life she came from but sometimes he catches her staring out the window and looking hesitant. Scared. Like something might come after her. Joe always makes sure to hold her hand and promises to keep the bad things away. He’ll protect her until the end. She tends to spend the night curled up in his arms and he chases away her bad dreams.

 

Sometimes, he hears grandpa English introduce himself as Sassacre but Joe never asks. It just doesn’t seem important.

 

Joe is six years old when he first meets Dave Strider. He doesn't realize the significance of this until much, much later, but that's to be expected because Joe is _falling_. The air screams around him and even though he knows he should be scared, he isn't. It feels right, feels _natural_. He's going to fall to his death but he's never felt so safe in his life. Joe's fingers had missed grabbing the railing to save himself but that's okay. The wind is okay and he finds he almost doesn't mind that he's plummeting too fast and that Jade's screaming from the balcony. He closes his eyes, losing himself in the wind that rips through his short hair and then he hits a warm body with a dull thud.

 

The man who catches him in his arms without even toppling over from the weight, tall and pale and dressed funny, is Dave Strider, though Joe won't know this for several years. Joe stares up at him, entranced by his funny glasses. Dave is kind of pretty in a weird way and when Joe tells him that, Dave just stares back at him blankly. He sets Joe down and tells him to be more careful. Before Joe can do much else, Jade bursts from the front door of their building and throws her arms around him with a sob. Joe pets her hair and pats her back and tells her everything is okay. When he looks back, Dave is gone. Joe forgets his face.

 

The candy shop begins to do very well so Joe’s father works more and Joe spends more time in the neighborhood. He builds up friends and tussles gently because Joe is a lot stronger than he has any right to be and after an accident left another kid with a wrenched shoulder when he was four, Joe has been very, very careful not to hurt anyone. He never wants to see someone cry like that again. He learns how to beat someone without actually doing more than scuffing their skin but it’s enough.

 

At ten, Joe, gets into his first real fight. The fights are fairly common in their district, full of poor, bored, factory children after the reforms cost them their jobs. Emotions run high and tempers hotter than healthy when there’s nothing to do and their parents worry so much about where the next meal is coming from. Not everyone's as lucky as Joe to have caught a steady morning job with the paper, or to have a working parent at all.

 

To be honest, Joe didn't even start the fight but because he likes Seamus, he doesn't let Jade beat him to a pulp. Jade's undefeated even without the strength Joe has running through his veins and she gets _mean_. She doesn’t just win. She dominates. When Seamus gets tired of getting thrashed, Joe's magnanimous and they end up kicking a can around for the next few hours, the slight forgotten. Joe's good at that. His mother used to tell him he had a good heart. He misses her but instead of mourning, he does his best to live up to the ideals she instilled in him.

 

Joe heads home and washes his face and hands, getting the grime out from under his fingertips. Grandpa English gives him a nod and asks if he won because there’s no way a kid gets that dirty from anything but a fight. Joe just smiles and that’s enough. Old man English is a good man and Joe's glad that if they have to share their tiny apartment with anyone, it's Jade's family. The rent is high even on the Lower East Side and though his father's business is popular, they only make just enough to get by. Joe gives the graybeard a nod on his way out and makes his way to the shop.

 

Standing outside _Egbert's Delicate Delights_ is Dave Strider. Joe finds him a little familiar but he's forgotten things from years ago and instead is struck by how strange the man looks. Dressed in fancy, pressed slacks of pitch black, a crisp white button up shirt with a vivid red vest over it, tie to match and shiny black shoes, and those weird glasses. He's so very out of place out here with the dirt and the poverty and Joe finds he's afraid the guy must be lost and needs to be directed out quickly, before the Irish decide he's an insult. A lot of things are insults to the Irish.

 

“Sir,” Joe calls and Dave looks at him, expressionless and foreboding. Joe isn't sure what might have slapped the feelings from his face but he's not going to ask. That'd be rude. Instead, he just smiles. “Sir, you lost? Business district's a long walk _that_ way.”

 

“I'm not lost,” Dave says and even though there's little inflection, Joe thinks he sounds tired. “I'm the epitome of found, just need an old mammie to sing low in my ear about the foundness I am.”

 

It sounds a little weird but Joe smiles anyway. Maybe the man in red is from some other city where they talk differently. The Irish certainly don't talk the way Joe does nor do the Moszkowitz family down two floors. Dave sounds like he's used to baffling people, so it could just be him.

 

“Well, you might want to get found somewhere else, sir,” Joe says politely, “because your clothes are real bright and clean.”

 

Dave stares at him like he doesn't understand. Then he looks Joe over (or at least Joe thinks he does, the glasses make it hard to tell) and nods.

 

“You doing okay, kid? No more falling off balconies?”

 

Joe blinks. “Yes, sir. I’m careful.”

 

He doesn't tell him about the way the wind tends to cradle him when he falls these days. Joe has accepted that as just part of his lot in life. He plays when he has time and the more he works at it, the more he's able to make the wind _do_. It's been... really neat, but the only one who knows is Jade and she's the only one that ever will.

 

There's movement nearby. Joe can see from the corner of his eye that they've been noticed. He recognizes Seamus's older brother Colin, who has a sour disposition and likes to take it out on anyone nearby. Joe's always careful not to be near but he can't exactly run right now. It's not Dave's fault he's there at the wrong time and Colin is a bully.

 

“Sir,” Joe says without dropping Colin from his vision. “Sir, you need to leave. Right now.”

 

Dave studies him and then turns and looks right at Colin, who glares and starts for them. For a moment, Joe panics. He doesn’t want to get into a fight because if he beats on Collin enough to deter him, there’s no telling what the oldest brother might do to him, much less their father, because Collin’s not only nasty, he’s also a cry baby and a tattler and none of them like dandies like Dave. Collin’s father could cause trouble with Joe’s and then what would they do. What would they _do_.

 

Then Joe knows what he has to do. His hand twitches and the wind comes as called. It trips up Colin's feet, sending him crashing down, but Joe doesn't wait to watch. He grabs Dave's hand and drags him away from the shop. Joe should be surprised when Dave goes along with him without a fuss, but he's a little busy navigating side streets and keeping an ear out for pursuit. If Collin’s buddies figure out who the new target is...

 

Joe takes Dave to the edge of the East Side before he finally stops. He's winded but not badly and Dave barely looks phased.

 

“Well that was fun,” Dave says flatly. “Spoiler alert: that’s a lie.”

 

Joe laughs as he straightens up. “Well, the whole city can't be boring. Just follow this road out a few streets and you'll get to the main hustle and bustle.”

 

Dave nods and gives Joe a glance. He holds out his hand. “Dave Strider.”

 

“Joe Egbert,” Joe responds, giving that hand a firm shake the way old man English taught him because a man’s handshake is his bond. He smiles brightly. “Have a nice day, sir.”

 

Dave nods and Joe turns to go. He hesitates, wondering one last thing, but when he looks back, Dave's gone. Joe blinks a little but, well, maybe the guy's just quick. Joe shrugs it off and heads back into the district.

 

For the next week, Joe skirts Collin as well as he can, especially after Seamus finds him after his paper route and warns him Collin’s on the warmarch. His streak lasts nine days. Then he figures he’s safe.

 

He’s wrong.

 

Collin and three of his pals catch Joe in an alley. He knows he could hurt them, that he could win the fight if he wanted to, but he knows it would only cause more trouble. Joe’s just glad Jade had been off with her grandpa that day. She’s mad enough when she gets home and stews the whole time she helps him clean out scrapes and his bloodied mouth. Joe refuses to tell her who did it and makes the other kids swear not to tell her. He’s got some pride as a man, after all, and maybe when he’s older, maybe when he has a good job and doesn’t have to care so much about his father, maybe then he’ll go and return the favor.

 

He’s forgotten within a few weeks that Collin ever wronged him. Joe never did have a head for revenge and Collin’s ilk are impressed enough with the beating he bore and the way he was out again the next day as if nothing happened not to badger him too much. It does start something, though. Joe stops pulling his punches when it counts. He’s careful never to beat anyone too dangerous, but he doesn’t let the stragglers push him or Jade around. He keeps a keen eye on who has the connections, who’s close to the bosses, and stays watchful for the weekly changes in power. He makes sure that he and Jade are never targets.

 

By fifteen, Joe's made a name for himself and the only reason the Irish haven't taken him in is because he's not technically one of them, which is kind of a blessing because Joe doesn't really want to join the mob. He still works for the paper but he's graduated up from delivery and been taught to service the press instead, which suits him just fine. Longer hours and not a lot much more pay, but Joe handles it. He works hard and when he's done, he runs with the neighborhood boys and roughhouses with the best of them. Jade stays at his side and even in a dress, she's queen of dogpile. Together, they dominate the district kids but their reign is kind.

 

For some reason, everyone expects them to get married someday. Joe's never thought about it, really. He likes Jade just fine but she's never been someone he could look at and want to sleep with. She's his sister, his confidant, his other half. Sharing a bed with her would be strange and unnatural, but day after day they're heckled for being sweethearts. Jade tells him not to worry about it but Joe finds he does. He’s uncomfortable with the notion and the way it keeps getting pushed on him.

 

Then one guy, a few years older than them, starts being nice to her. He brings her presents and offers her lavish dinners, tries to get in good with grandpa English and charms Joe's father when his father remembers what people are past his customers. Joe doesn't like him, not the look or the feel or the syrup sweet voice. He doesn't trust someone who's so closed off and isn't free with his intentions. Joe sticks to Jade like glue and she's just as put off by the guy's advances as he is.

 

He doesn’t know what to do. He thinks maybe he should marry Jade, just to keep her from that _bastard_ but she’d never go for it. She’s never wanted to be married in the first place. He’s useless.

 

Joe knows something is wrong. He knows something is going to happen and he feels powerless because he can't just run the guy off. He can't pick a fight with him because the guy's got cop connections and they've all been corrupt since Roosevelt left the city. Joe can't stand just waiting but his dad's oblivious to what's going on and grandpa English is just so happy to have someone to tell stories at. Jade's getting desperate and Joe knows if he doesn’t find some way to fix this, some way to free her, she’s going to do something drastic.

 

One day, Joe gets home and finds Jade packing a bag. He stares at it, feeling his insides churn up. There it is. She’s going to leave him. Joe didn’t know how terrified that would make him until this moment and he’s.. He can’t handle that. He can’t just...

 

“Jade?”

 

“I already packed yours.”

 

He shouldn't but Joe immediately feels a deep sense of relief. There's no question that he'll go where she's decided to wander if she’ll let him. This is his home only so much as they live there, he and Jade, because his home has been her since his mother died. He's fine anywhere else and he knows she's always had the want to travel. Joe's pretty sure they can survive anywhere. There's always need for laborers.

 

They leave while old man English is asleep and Joe's dad is at the shop. Joe puts a note near the stove but he isn't sure when it'll be read. Hand in hand, Jade and Joe leave the East Side. They wander New York for a while before they leave it, too. For the next year, they travel from city to city, working odd jobs when their money runs out and glorifying in the independence of their new lives. Jade blossoms and falls to her passions. She laughs and runs and lives freely and they spend hours sitting in whatever little bookstore they’ve come across.

 

They celebrate Jade's sixteenth birthday in Philadelphia and Joe's in Raleigh, but the South is boring and they're in Boston five months later. Joe plays piano in a lounge for a while, calling back to his mother's lessons and learning new songs as easily as breathing. Jade works at a bookstore and they find they rather enjoy the city. It's not quite home but it's all right. They don't feel as stifled or hunted.

 

Then in January, the North End floods with thick, sticky death and Joe finds himself trudging deep into the disaster area, dragging out victims. He carries more bodies than he can count out of the sugary, syrupy mess, not caring if they're alive or dead. The muck threatens to drag him under but Joe is tireless. If he's been born freakishly strong, he might as well use it. Jade helps the Red Cross with those pulled out, helping clean faces and unclog molasses filled throats, keeping victims warm and rescuers fed.

 

Days later, when they stop looking for survivors and are simply combing out bodies, Joe doesn't stop. There is still work to do, clean up to help with, and even if they’re dead, those people deserved proper funerals. Jade works to keep their apartment. Joe helps with the clean up until he isn't needed anymore. Then he goes back to work at the lounge and is glad they'd been there to help even if he's exhausted from the effort.

 

The lounge throws Joe a birthday party and he sings until he’s hoarse as the drummer shows Jade a few moves. He watches them flirt most of the night and he doesn’t mind at all because he knows Benjamin doesn’t mean it and besides, his wife would slaughter him. It’s one of the better nights he can remember, full of laughter and fun and warmth.

 

In September, the police go on strike and all hell breaks loose. Joe and Jade stay home, staring out their window as looters run rampant through the nearby businesses. Joe doubts this will last long but when violence begins near by, he quietly packs their bags. They escape out the back stairway and flee to the south side, Jade's hand firmly in Joe's.

 

He isn't going to lose his sister to foolish violence. It’s not an option. Joe feels himself to be nigh invulnerable and knows that Jade can handle herself but he still... He can't risk it. He has to save her.

 

They run right into a violent mob. Jade loses her bag in the scuffle and Joe drops his so he can throw an arm over her and shield her from the angry bodies that surround them. They can't get back the way they came so Joe trudges forward and takes a punch to the face for his trouble. He doubts the other guy even meant it for him, not when he’s grappling with one of the volunteers, but Joe trips him up with the wind and catches another few steps. He hears the Guard calling for order but no one's listening.

 

Gunfire erupts and then it’s.. It’s just crazy. Joe shoves Jade to the ground and throws himself over her as the crowd goes insane with fear and rage. He covers his head and Jade yells for people to calm down. It does nothing. They're out of their minds and Joe for the first time is actually afraid. He only hopes that maybe, _maybe_ , Jade will survive this even if he doesn’t.

 

Then a hand grabs his shoulder. Joe looks up, locks eyes with Dave Strider, and suddenly they aren't in the street anymore. The alley smells strange and Joe hears automobiles on the street, but nothing like he's ever known before. Cautiously, Joe and Jade rise up to their feet. They watch a few people walk by the alley's opening but they're dressed strangely and beyond them is a brightly colored shop that looks like nothing they've seen before.

 

“Where are we?” Jade asks, squeezing Joe's hand and staring past him at Dave.

 

“Planet Vulcan,” Dave replies. “Star date who gives a fuck, not this guy.”

 

He hands them two wallets then he disappears before their eyes.

 

As it turns out, they're still in Boston only almost a century in the future but other than the clothes and some of the attitudes, it doesn't end up being much different. Sure, strange technology gives them a run but it’s better than it could have been. Their money isn't viable anymore but they find a collector by accident who pays them what they assume is premium for their old coins and the few bills that aren’t creased and “worthless”. It's enough to eat that night. Dave's gifts contain modern identification cards with their names and faces. Joe wonders how Dave did it all, but he's gotten kind of used to the guy's enigmatic nature just like he got used to his own abilities with the wind.

 

They settle much as they had before. A tiny apartment in the art district becomes their home and they find that even if the people dress differently, they're still stubborn and loud and vulgar and Joe loves them that way. It's a little weird to suddenly not be an adult anymore, though. That feels like a slap in the face when he's spent so long taking care of himself and working how he wants. He has to forge the signature of his dead guardian for so many things but it’s all right. It isn’t long. He counts the days down to his eighteenth birthday and the party is fantastic.

 

Joe works two part time jobs and spends the nights with Jade and a few new friends playing music that is so very different from the tunes he's used to but he loves that, too. Jade finds herself even more free than before and the first time Joe sees her in a miniskirt, he chokes but has to admit that it makes her legs look amazing. Her style fluctuates day by day as she discovers fashions they missed in their jump through time and finds her own. Joe settles his easily but after making friends with a guy tattooed from head to toe, he finds himself experimenting with further wonders.

 

For some reason, as soon as they really get comfortable, the world... _shifts_. It's a palpable thing, at least to Joe and Jade, but no one else seems to notice. They head to the roof of their apartment building and stare out over the city that, while not different, is not wholly the same. They can feel it inside, the change, and they have the sense of grand events.

 

They're still clueless a few months later when Joe gets a letter from a man claiming to be his cousin Jeff Egbert, inviting him to visit. Joe doesn't quite know what to think of that. His father had been named Jeff but there's no way the man is still alive. Joe ends up going and he meets a man who is identical to his father but also completely, weirdly different. He doesn’t know what to think of a man that looks like his father and looks at him like he actually sees him. Jeff talks to him like they’ve been family all along and shows him pictures of a kid that looks just like Joe. And that...

 

Joe can’t handle that. He looks at John, the guileless grin with ridiculous big teeth Joe had only just grown into, and he thinks about how present Jeff is, how focused he is on his own child. There are photographs of John everywhere. It’s something Joe never realized he wanted and it leaves him feeling vaguely panicked.

 

Jeff makes a good cake though and Joe brings some back home to Jade. She takes one look at him and cancels their plans that night so he can curl up against her on their old, ugly couch and watch an ongoing _Three Stooges_ marathon. They eat Jeff’s cake and in the morning, even though he doesn’t really want to, Joe resolves to keep up with the man.

 

As it turns out, legally Jeff is somehow Joe's dad's cousin and Joe's father ends up being alive, inexplicably the same age as Joe remembers, and still in his candy shop in New York. When Joe visits him, the shop is just how he remembers. It’s all bright colors and glorious smells and there are children all around. Joe spends a while on the outside staring in. He’s pretty sure the mothers think he’s some kind of sicko but he doesn’t care. He... He’s gotten over the fact that his father was gone and now... Well. He can’t run forever.

 

Joe goes in and while his dad doesn't seem to know anything weird went on, or that Joe left at all, it's still nice to see him expertly twining molten sugar into beautiful configurations. He still doesn’t quite look at Joe, not the way Jeff looks at even pictures of his own son, but it’s okay. Joe can handle that. He always has.

 

Old man English is nowhere to be found but Jade doesn't seem disheartened by it. Joe leaves his father to his shop and wanders the city a bit. He thinks about staying but there are too many memories in New York and he doesn’t... He doesn’t really want to stay near his father longer than he has to.

 

Joe keeps up contact with his new cousin through phone calls because he just hasn’t manage to conquer computers the way Jade has. Then again, Jeff hasn’t either, past what’s required for his job. They joke about being old codgers and Jeff helps Joe catch up on the comedians he’s missed over the years.

 

Three months after the shift, Joe's phone rings. He doesn't recognize the number but he answers anyway.

 

“We won the game,” Dave Strider tells him. Joe groans.

 

“You broke my streak. I was three weeks without losing it,” he says as he leans over the railing and Jade snorts beside him. Joe can’t help but be proud of that one. It’s one of the few references he actually understands in his own age group. “So, did you get any fabulous prizes? The Price is Right seems to think you always do when you win. Either that, or the lovely ladies do.”

 

There is a pause and when Dave speaks again, Joe's pretty sure he's smiling on the inside. “Well, we're all alive. Hallelujah and praise the lord, the master computer has been defeated. We are the champions, it is us.”

 

Joe shakes his head a bit. He doesn't really get what the game had been or why the win would change the world as it has, in ways Joe doesn't quite know how to quantify, but he doesn't mind that. He has the sense that Dave is paying full attention right now and Joe isn’t going to run off his enigmatic friend.

 

“Are you in this time now?”

 

“Almost. Last minute things to fix. Kids to tuck in.”

 

“You have kids?” He hadn't thought Dave was old enough but, well, apparent time travelers had their own rules, he supposed.

 

“Whole flock of blond bastards. Shit's sick as fuck. Gonna have to get a second apartment to handle the flood of teen angst.”

 

“Sounds like fun. Maybe I should visit sometime.”

 

Jade steals the phone and chatters at Dave for a while as Joe muses over the news. He's always been a little curious about Dave over the years and if the guy is going to stick around this time, he might have the chance to learn about him. He spends half the summer learning how to text and grinning over pictures of Dave’s kids because Dave is an incredibly proud father (though some of the pictures seem just a little inappropriate. Joe’s not going to judge someone else’s family but he didn’t need to see Dave Jr. getting a super wedgie even if he’s adorable when he’s mad.)

 

Somehow, it doesn't surprise Joe when Jeff calls him up to tell him that he and his son are moving to Texas before the new school year and that other friends seem to be heading the same way. Joe thinks about it a day before Jade announces that their lease is up and there's no reason to stay. Joe thinks he loves her a little more for that.

 

Houston is hot and dry and perfect and Joe finally, _finally_ , feels like he's where he's supposed to be. He intends on enjoying it.

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone shoots me, no, this isn't exactly the Alpha timeline. It's both the same one and two offshoots of it in some really convoluted time shenanigans that really are all Jade and Dave's fault. But, to make it clear, Jade English and Colonel Sassacre are from the Alpha time line and split off into an alternate when Jade's space powers and Dave's time powers flared while the timelines, not at the same time, brushed close enough to fuck shit up. (Time is wibbly wobbly kids) That slammed Jade and Sassacre into Joe Egbert's timeline, where he really is normal crotchfruit of actual gogdamn parents in 1902. Meanwhile, Dave Strider from the actual Alpha timeline has been connected up through Jade's mystical space hoodoo and as his time traveling is pretty weak, he can only piggyback off her power, which is equally uncontrolled because they are mirrors of each other and consequences of what should have been a void session and kind of still is if you mix all the timelines together into something almost like order...
> 
> You know what, actually this is all retroactively Davesprite's fault.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Advance Guard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/839679) by [LoxieBoxie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoxieBoxie/pseuds/LoxieBoxie)




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